Animal Jokes
Animal Joke #1
A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him “Are you a bear?”
“Yes”
“What are you doing at the movies ?”
“Well, I liked the book!”
Animal Joke #2
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, “I think it’s going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?”
So off went junior for Father’s umbrella, but three days later he still hadn’t returned.
“I think, dear,” [...]
Animal Joke #3
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, “What would you like?” the fish says holding his neck, “Water”.
Animal Joke #4
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat.
He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers [...]
Animal Joke #5
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same [...]
Animal Joke #6
A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey. It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away. So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit. It then heads for a watering [...]
Animal Joke #7
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said “it is quite cold out here can I come in?” the man [...]
Animal Joke #8
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet’s diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and [...]
Animal Joke #9
A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out. One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time.
In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he’d continue searching for a [...]
Animal Joke #10
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can’t help laughing and eventually says “Don’t you know there aren’t any apples on the tree yet?” “Yes,” said the snail, “but there will be by the time I get up there.”
Animal Joke #11
A vampire bat came flapping in from a night of foraging, covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the cave’s roof to get some sleep. Soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to shut up and let him get some sleep, [...]
Animal Joke #12
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. “But will it be all right in the rain?” she asked anxiously. “Oh certainly, ma’am,” said the manager smoothly. “After all, you’ve never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?”
Animal Joke #13
Are shellfish warm? No they’re clammy!
Animal Joke #14
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a [...]
Animal Joke #15
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk?
He always liked to make a stink!
Animal Joke #16
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
Animal Joke #17
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws?
It costs an arm and a leg to eat there!
Animal Joke #18
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan?
He got cut off without a scent!
Animal Joke #19
Did you hear about the whale who couldn’t keep a secret?
He was a blubber mouth!
Animal Joke #20
Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks!
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