Bath Jokes

Bath Joke #1

A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. “Can you give me a room and bath?” he asked the clerk.
“I can give you a room,” the clerk said. “But you’ll have to take the bath by yourself!”

Bath Joke #2

Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn’t had a bath? Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

Bath Joke #3

Are you going to take a bath? No, I’m leaving it where it is.

Bath Joke #4

Boy: Dad, dad, there’s a spider in the bath.
Dad: What’s wrong with that? You’ve seen spiders before. Boy: Yes, but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!

Bath Joke #5

Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in? The plumber said, “Would you like a plug for it?”
The idiot replied, “Oh, I didn’t know it was electric.”

Bath Joke #6

Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I’d drunk the bath there wasn’t room for medicine.

Bath Joke #7

Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring. Patient: You mean I don’t need another bath until I’m sixty-five?

Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning.
Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor.
Doctor: You do?
Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water!

Bath Joke #9

Does your brother keep himself clean? Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.

Bath Joke #10

Dr Frankenstein: I’ve just invented something that everyone in the world will want! You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off? Igor: Yes, I hate it. Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again! I’ve invented [...]

Bath Joke #11

Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please? Porter: I can give you a room, but you’ll have to wash yourself.

Bath Joke #12

How do vampire football players get the mud off?
They all get in the bat-tub.

Bath Joke #13

How do you know that there’s a monster in your bath? You can’t get the shower curtain closed.

Bath Joke #14

May: What position does your brother play in the school football team ?
Jay: I think he’s one of the drawbacks !

Bath Joke #15

Mom: Joe, time for your medicine. Joe: I’ll run the bath then.
Mom: Why? Joe: Because on the bottle it says “to be taken in water.”

Bath Joke #16

Mum, does God use the bathroom? No, what a funny question! Then why did Dad say this morning, “Oh, God, are you still in there?”

Bath Joke #17

My mother says I look just like an animal when I’m in the bath – a little bear.

Bath Joke #18

Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night !
Ed: You were? What did you do ?
Ned: I took a bath !

Bath Joke #19

Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath? Rick: I use soap and water, personally.

Bath Joke #20

Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.

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