The Funny Blog » Beauty Jokes

Beauty Joke #1

Fred — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:38:45 +0000

A little boy came running into the kitchen.

"Dad, dad" he said, "there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face"

"Tell him you've already got one," said his father !

Beauty Joke #2

Fred — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:38:45 +0000

A monster went to the doctor with a branch growing out of his head.

"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I've no idea what it is." The next week the branch was covered in leaves and blossom. "I'm stumped," said the doctor, "but you can try taking these pills." When the monster came back a month later the branch had grown into a tree, and just a few weeks later he developed a small pond, surrounded by trees and bushes, all of them on top of his head. "Ah!" said the doctor, "I know what it is. You've got a beauty spot."

Beauty Joke #3

Fred — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:38:45 +0000

A witch went into a beauty parlor and asked the assistant how much it would cost to make her look like a film star.

"Nothing," replied the assistant. "Nothing?" she asked, "but how can I look like a film star?" "Haven't you seen a film called The Creature from the Black Lagoon?" replied the assistant.

Beauty Joke #4

Fred — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:38:45 +0000

A woman went to a sweet store to buy some sweets. The boy behind the counter said "Gosh, your ugly aren't you?, I've never seen anyone so hideous as you before"

"Young man" she replied. " I didn't come here to be insulted"

"Really", he said, "Where do you usually go ?"

Beauty Joke #5

Fred — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:38:45 +0000

Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance ?

Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.

Beauty Joke #6

Fred — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:38:45 +0000

Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back.

Will: Pity it's not on her head.

Beauty Joke #7

Fred — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:38:45 +0000

Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn't pretty and wasn't ugly ?

She was pretty ugly

Beauty Joke #8

Fred — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:38:45 +0000

Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness? She finished it in two.

Beauty Joke #9

Fred — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:38:45 +0000

Don't look out of the window, Betty, people will think it's Halloween.

Beauty Joke #10

Fred — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:38:45 +0000

First girl: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think that's vanity? Second girl: No, it's imagination.