Bicycle Jokes

Bicycle Joke #1

A little boy out riding his bicycle knocked down an old lady. She was a bit shaken, but got up, dusted herself off, then turned to the little boy and said, “Don’t you know how to ride a bike?”
“Yes,” he answered, “but I don’t know how to ring the bell yet”

Bicycle Joke #2

A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. “Where did you get the bike from?” his friends want to know. “It’s a “thank you” present”, he explains, “from that freshman girl I’ve been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird…” [...]

Bicycle Joke #3

Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people’s arms off? It was a vicious cycle.

Bicycle Joke #4

I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday.
Farcical?

Bicycle Joke #5

Jack and Jill were riding a tandem up a hill, but making heavy weather of it. At the top, Jack said: “I didn’t think we’d make it!” Jill replied, “Nor did I – what a good thing I kept the brakes on, or we’d have slid all the way back down!”

Bicycle Joke #6

Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks.
“Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!”

Bicycle Joke #7

Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes, said the gym teacher. “Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy.”
“I’m freewheeling, sir.”

Bicycle Joke #8

My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do? Take his bike away.

Bicycle Joke #9

Our bank manager can’t ride a bike any more. Why not? He lost his balance.

Bicycle Joke #10

Q: How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb? A: It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.


Bicycle Joke #11

Q: Why do bikes have kick-stands? A: Because they’re two-tired.

Bicycle Joke #12

Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals.
Juliet: Really? Romeo: Yes, bicycle pedals.

Bicycle Joke #13

The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. -”Geez, are you lucky.” The cyclist says. -”What do you mean by lucky ?” The pedestrian angrily asks. “I got hurt really bad.” -”Ah, you’re lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus.”

Bicycle Joke #14

The school teacher was furious when Brad knocked him down with his new bicycle in the school yard. “Don’t you know how to ride that yet?” he roared. “Oh yes!” shouted Brad over his shoulder. “It’s the bell I can’t work yet.

Bicycle Joke #15

What did the bicycle call its dad?
Pop-cycle

Bicycle Joke #16

What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him? Because he didn’t want to walk in his sleep.

Bicycle Joke #17

What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ?
Petal !

Bicycle Joke #18

What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose ?
Bicycle petals !

Bicycle Joke #19

What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ?
Bike carbonate of soda !

Bicycle Joke #20

What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it.

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