Blind Jokes

Blind Joke #1

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!!” The blind man replies, “Just looking around.”

Blind Joke #2

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with [...]

Blind Joke #3

A blind man was waiting to cross the road when a dog stopped and cocked its leg against him. The blind man felt in his pocket for a sweet, bent down, and offered it to the dog. A passerby remarked what a very kind act that was considering what the dog had done. “Not at [...]

Blind Joke #4

A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit and said, “You’re soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be a rabbit.”
The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said, “You’re slimy, beady-eyed and low to the ground. You [...]

Blind Joke #5

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower. “There is a blind man to see you,” she says. “Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in.”
The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior [...]

Blind Joke #6

A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional [...]

Blind Joke #7

A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school’s soccer team to an “away game”. They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how [...]

Blind Joke #8

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move.
Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Coco, [...]

Blind Joke #9

Did you hear about the blind porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!

Blind Joke #10

Have you seen stieve wonders house? -niether did he

Blind Joke #11

How do you make a Venetian blind?
Poke him in the eye

Blind Joke #12

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.
The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the [...]

Blind Joke #13

One day two blind men started fighting.
Pretty soon a crowd surrounded them.
Then one of the members of the crowd yelled out “I bet 10 bucks on the one with the knife.”
Both men ran away.