Cat Jokes

Cat Joke #1

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet [...]

Cat Joke #2

A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. “Excuse me”, he said to the cat in charge, “Can you get milk stains out?” “Sure,” replied the cat. “We’ll have that stain licked in a minute!”

Cat Joke #3

A woman is walking in the park when she sees a man playing chess with his cat. She says to the man “I can’t believe what I’m seeing, a cat that plays chess, what a clever animal!!” The man replied “Nah lady this cats not clever at all I’m beating it 6 games to 1″

Cat Joke #4

Brother: Did you put the cat out ? Sister: Why, is it on fire ?

Cat Joke #5

Doctor, said the patient, “I need help! I can’t stop acting like a cat!”
“How long have you had this problem?” the doctor asked.
“Lest’s see,” said the patient, “Mom had the litter in “41

Cat Joke #6

For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, or are a teenager, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats: – Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
- No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. [...]

Cat Joke #7

How do cats eat spaghetti ?
The same as everyone else – they put it in their mouths!

Cat Joke #8

How do cats eat spaghetti ?
The same as everyone else – they put it in their mouths!

Cat Joke #9

How do you know if you cat’s got a bad cold ?
He has cat-arrh !

Cat Joke #10

How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling ?
She’s got that down in the mouth look !

Cat Joke #11

How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
They never cry over spilt milk !

Cat Joke #12

How is cat food sold ?
Usually purr can !

Cat Joke #13

If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get? An a-cat-emy award.

Cat Joke #14

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “Whatcha doing, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. “And I’ve just buried him.”
The neighbor was concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole [...]