College Jokes

College Joke #1

A college friend was going to meet a young lady he new.
“An old flame? I asked.
He winked and said, “More like an unlit match.”

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.
On the paper there was a single line which simply said: “Is this a question?” – Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: “If that is a question, then this is an answer.”
The student received an “A” on the exam.
A Boston brokerage house advertised for [...]

College Joke #3

A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God’s existence. The professor presented the following logic:
“Has anyone in this class heard God?” Nobody spoke.
“Has anyone in this class touched God?” Again, nobody spoke.
“Has anyone in this class seen God?” When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, “Then [...]

College Joke #4

A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. His mom said, “Sure, sweetie. I’ll will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?”
“Uhh, oh [...]

College Joke #5

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. “In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the [...]

College Joke #6

A Mississippi professor was at a party and became indignant when asked if college professors were absent-minded.
“Professors haven’t got bad memories,” he declared. “They’re not absent-minded. Don’t you think I know where I am right now, and don’t you think tomorrow I’ll know where I was last night? Would somebody like to ask me another [...]

College Joke #7

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.
The pharmacist says, “Here’s a pill for English literature.”
The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!
“What else [...]

College Joke #8

A son is calling his mom from college, and telling her that he had just got his degree. The mother says: That’s great honey! What kind of degree? And the son, almost squealing with excitement says: The best one ever, a Celsius degree!

College Joke #9

A survey was being taken on the University of Arizona campus.
The survey taker asked a soccer player, “What do you think of bilingualism?”
“Oh, I think it’s okay,” said the boy, “if it’s between consenting adults.”

College Joke #10

After the college boy delivered the pizza to Bud’s trailer house, Bud asked, “What is the usual tip?”
“Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.”
“Is that so?” snorted Bud. “Well, just to show them how wrong [...]

College Joke #11

All the fraternity brothers left the house for a long weekend except for Grady, who decided to stay behind and get some studying done.
One night Grady heard a noise under his bed.
Fearing it might be a burglar, he leaned over and whispered, “Anybody there?”
“No,” said the burglar.
“That’s funny,” the boy said to himself. “I could [...]

College Joke #12

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.
Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
“Done!” says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, [...]

College Joke #13

An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. “Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?”
“Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I’ll be on the golf course by now.”

College Joke #14

And then there was the UCLA professor who opened up his vest, pulled out his tie and wet his pants.

College Joke #15

Arvil was coming out of the Texas University student building when he was stopped by two coeds.
“Would you like to become a Jehovah’s Witness?” asked one of the girls.
“No, I really couldn’t. I didn’t see the accident.”

College Joke #16

Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon? Student: When you can’t get your jeans over your thighs.

College Joke #17

Biddle and Payne, two elderly English professors, were having lunch in the cafeteria.
During the course of the conversation, Biddle said,
“A student gave me a peculiar answer in class today. I asked who wrote the Merchant of Venice and a sophomore said, “Please, sir, it wasn’t me!”
“Ha, ha!” laughed Payne. “And I suppose the little snot [...]

College Joke #18

College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them and sometimes with good reason. “What kind of pie do you call this?” asked one student indignantly.
“What’s it taste like?” asked the cook.”
“Glue!”
“Then it’s apple pie the plum pie tastes like soap.”

College Joke #19

Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he’d seen himself before?

College Joke #20

Did you hear about the Penn State professor who went around in a revolving door for six hours because he couldn’t remember whether he was going in or coming out?

Page 1 of 412 3 4 Next »