Cow Jokes

Cow Joke #1

A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer. Is that bull safe? Well, he’s a lot safer than you are right now!

Cow Joke #2

A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. “Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!” the farmer answered.

Cow Joke #3

Camper: Look at that bunch of cows.
Farmer: Not bunch, herd.
Camper: Heard what?
Farmer: Of cows.
Camper: Sure I’ve heard of cows.
Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd.
Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows!

Cow Joke #4

Cow: Why don’t you shoo those flies? Bull: I’ll let them go barefoot!

Cow Joke #5

Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture? No! Did he hurt the cows?
No, he just grazed them!

Cow Joke #6

Did you hear about the snobby cow?
She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Cow Joke #7

Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare!

Cow Joke #8

How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed!

Cow Joke #9

How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up!

Cow Joke #10

How did the calf’s final exam turn out? Grade A!


Cow Joke #11

How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down

Cow Joke #12

How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them!

Cow Joke #13

How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.

Cow Joke #14

How does a cow do math? With a cowculator!

Cow Joke #15

How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
It’s a place of udder delight.

Cow Joke #16

I can’t decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm. Well, wouldn’t you look silly riding a cow?
I’d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!

Cow Joke #17

I hear you take milk baths. That’s right.
Why? I can’t find a cow tall enough for a shower!

Cow Joke #18

I’ve just discovered a method for making wool out of milk! But doesn’t that make the cow feel a little sheepish?

Cow Joke #19

If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get? Half and half!

Cow Joke #20

If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get? “Beeflt!”

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