Face Jokes

Face Joke #1

A little boy came running into the kitchen. “Dad, dad,” he said, “there’s a monster at the door with a really ugly face.”
“Tell him you’ve already got one,” said his father.

A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip. “When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile,” she said.
“Why, was he disappointed with the view?”
“No, he fell over the edge.”

Face Joke #3

Boy monster: You’ve got a face like a million dollars !
Girl monster: Have I really ?
Boy monster: Yes – it’s green and wrinkly !

Face Joke #4

Boy: You’ve got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really? Boy: Yes ? it’s green and wrinkly.

Face Joke #5

Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast.
Henry: If you’re so smart, what did I have?
Counselor: Eggs.
Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!

Face Joke #6

Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?

Face Joke #7

First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It’s because he’s a hoptimist.

Face Joke #8

Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Harry: In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.

Face Joke #9

Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really? Which one? Fred: A Saint Bernard.

Face Joke #10

Fred: You’ve got a Roman nose. Harry: Like Julius Caesar? Fred: No, it’s roamin’ all over your face.

Face Joke #11

Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up.
Harry: Do you think so? Fred: Yes. It’s so thick that if you tell her a joke, five minutes after she’s stopped laughing her face is still smiling!

Face Joke #12

Fred’s new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a better grip.

Face Joke #13

How did your mom know you hadn’t washed your face?
I forgot to wet the soap.

Face Joke #14

I don’t know where you got your face from, but i hope you have the receipt.

Face Joke #15

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception.

Face Joke #16

Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream. “What’s that for?” she asked. “To make me beautiful,” came the reply. Louise then watched in silence as she wiped her face clean. “Doesn’t work, does it?” was her comment.

Face Joke #17

Mommy, all the kids at school say I’m a werewolf! Is that true? “No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face.”

Face Joke #18

My teacher’s got a pretty face if you can read between the lines.

Face Joke #19

Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. [...]

Face Joke #20

Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Don’t worry, I don’t expect anyone will notice.

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