Horse Jokes

Horse Joke #1

A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says,” Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning.” The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, “WHY ARE YOU [...]

Horse Joke #2

A mean horseman went into a saddler’s shop and asked for one spur. “One spur?” asked the saddler. “Surely you mean a pair of spurs, sir?” “No, just one,” replied the horseman. “If I can get one side of the horse to go, the other side is bound to come with it!”

Horse Joke #3

A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn’t show up at the church.
He got colt feet

Horse Joke #4

As horses say to one another.
Any friend of yours is a palomino!

Horse Joke #5

Did you find my horse well behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!

Horse Joke #6

Did you hear about Mike Tyson’s horse?
It got angry and bit at the champ!

Horse Joke #7

Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He was the last of his race!

Horse Joke #8

Did you hear about the depressed horse?
He told a tale of whoa!

Horse Joke #9

Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films?
He’s not a star though, he just does bit parts!

Horse Joke #10

Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?
He always said “Neigh”


Horse Joke #11

Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn’t tell the difference between his two horses?
His friend suggested measuring them, that didn’t help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!

Horse Joke #12

Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day?
He fell in love with the Grand National winner!

Horse Joke #13

Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?

Horse Joke #14

Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He didn’t have enough money tabaccer!

Horse Joke #15

Did you hear about the man with five keen senses?
He still lacked common and horse!

Horse Joke #16

Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise?
The horse lost 15 pounds in a week!

Horse Joke #17

Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!

Horse Joke #18

Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse: Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!

Horse Joke #19

Have you read the book, “100-mile Horse Trek”
Who wrote it?
Major Bumsore

Horse Joke #20

How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable?
He tried to stirrup some interest!

Page 1 of 512345Next »