Journalist Jokes

Journalist Joke #1

A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car.
Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, “Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim.”
The crowd made way for him.
Lying [...]

Journalist Joke #2

A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment. He submitted the following report to his editor. “Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts.”
The Editor scolded the new reporter, “This is a family paper. We don’t [...]

Journalist Joke #3

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.” The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.” The next day there was a hailstorm.
“This Indian is incredible,” said the [...]

Journalist Joke #4

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man.
She asks: “You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that and [...]

Journalist Joke #5

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, “Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!”
Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, “There’s nothing in here about fifty people being swindled.”
The newsboy ignored him and went on, [...]

Journalist Joke #6

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane.
“It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor. As soon [...]

Journalist Joke #7

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. “Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, [...]

Journalist Joke #8

A Soviet journalist walks into the hospital and tells the desk nurse, “I want to see the eye-ear doctor.”
“There is no such doctor” she tells him. “Perhaps you would like to see someone else?”
“No, I need to see an eye-ear doctor,” he says.
“But there is no such doctor,” she replies. “We have doctors for the [...]

Journalist Joke #9

A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, “The weather didn’t agree with me.”

Journalist Joke #10

A woman telephoned her local newspaper to let them know that she had just given birth to eighteen children. The reporter didn’t quite hear the message and said, “Would you repeat that?” “Not if I can help it,” replied the woman.


Journalist Joke #11

An honest weatherman says, “Today’s forecast is bright and sunny with an 80% chance that I’m wrong.”

Journalist Joke #12

George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot.
The Washington Post : “President Bush crosses the Potomac River”.
The Washington Time : “Bush’s conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat”.
Mother Jones : “Bush can’t swim”.

Journalist Joke #13

How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out [...]

Journalist Joke #14

How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but first he has to rewire the entire building.

Journalist Joke #15

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?
“We just report the facts, we don’t change them.”

Journalist Joke #16

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a [...]

Journalist Joke #17

Q: How many editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It was supposed to be in place last week!

Journalist Joke #18

Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric [...]

Journalist Joke #19

Q: How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two more to hold down the editor.

Journalist Joke #20

Reporter: My editor sent me to do the burglary. Policeman: You’re too late – it’s already been done.

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