Letter Jokes

Letter Joke #1

1st vampire: How things? 2nd vampire: Terrible! Today I received a letter saying I’m overdrawn by 50 pints at the blood bank.

An Irishman went into a post office to see if there were any letters for him. “I’ll see, sir,” said the clerk. “What is your name?” “You’re having me on now because I’m Irish,” said the Irishman. “Won’t you see the name on the envelope?”

Letter Joke #3

An old lady walked in to the post office to buy stamps and as she was short-sighted the clerk offered to stick the stamps on for her.
“Wait a minute,” he said, “you’ve written the address upside down.”
“I know,” said the little old lady, “the letter is going to Australia.”

Letter Joke #4

Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma like I told you to? Yes Mom. Your handwriting seems very large. Well, Grandma’s very deaf, so I’m writing very loudly.

Letter Joke #5

Betty was scribbling industriously over some paper with a pencil when her mother asked her what she was drawing. “I’m not drawing, Mom,” she said indignantly, “I’m writing a letter to Fred.” “But you can’t write,” Mom pointed out. “That’s all right,” said Betty, “Fred can’t read.”

Letter Joke #6

Braxton and Hollis had jobs at a California cotton mill. One morning the foreman came along and found Braxton reading a letter to his coworker.
“Hey,” cried the foreman, “what kind a horseplay you two guys up to?”
“Hollis got a letter from his girlfriend,” explained Braxton, “but he can’t read; so Ah’m readin’ the letter for [...]

Letter Joke #7

Crazy Aunt Maud received a letter one morning, and upon reading it burst into floods of tears. “What’s the matter?” asked her companion. “Oh dear,” sobbed Auntie, “It’s my favorite nephew. He’s got three feet.” “Three feet?” exclaimed her friend. “Surely that’s not possible?” “Well,” said Auntie, “his mother’s just written to tell me he’s [...]

Letter Joke #8

Did you hear about the sister who wrote herself a letter and forgot to sign it and when it arrived she didn’t know who it was from.

Letter Joke #9

Have you ever seen a duchess? Yes – it’s the same as an English “s”

Letter Joke #10

His girlfriend returned all his letters.
I bet she marked them “second class male !”

Letter Joke #11

How did skeletons send each other letters in the days of the Wild West? By Bony Express.

Letter Joke #12

How does a ghost start a letter? Tomb it may concern.

Letter Joke #13

How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Letter Joke #14

I got an anonymous letter today. Oh, really – who was it from?!

Letter Joke #15

Josh sent a letter to his folks. He told about a ten-mile hike he had taken.
His father wrote back saying, “In my day I thought nothing of walking ten miles.”
Josh wrote back, “To tell the truth, I didn’t think much of it either.

Letter Joke #16

Last night I wrote myself a letter. But I forgot to sign it and now I don’t know who it’s from.

Letter Joke #17

Q: Why did the witch’s mail rattle? A: It was a chain letter.

Letter Joke #18

Teacher: Frd, give me a sentence starting with “I.” Fred: I is . . . Teacher: No, Fred. You must always say “I am.” Fred: Oh, right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Letter Joke #19

What 8-letter word has one letter in it?
Envelope.

Letter Joke #20

What did the envelope say to the stamp?
“Stick with me and we’ll go places.”

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